MyInwardJourney

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March 22, 2004 9:58 PM

[Confused]

We've just got back into town from a few days away to visit some family. While it's good to be home, it is equally depressing in some ways. Found out tonight that our pastor brought up the subject of me doing full-time youth instead of the dual position that I do now (with music/worship). Not sure how I feel about all of this. I've been here for about 6 1/2 years now & it has been difficult (very) at times to juggle both roles, but now that I am faced with the possibility of relieving some of this tension I'm not so sure. The biggest issue is that I just don't want to do youth, nor be a 'youth minister' (without the slash) because that is not the direction I feel like God has been pointing us.

We've tossed around the option of leaving here to go to another church position a few times, but I just can't bring myself to do this. The only way is if I found a job that didn't quite meet the bills & I decided to take on a part-time church position to make up the difference temporarily. I would feel at this point like I would be compromising the convictions that have been developing over the course of the past year or so.

I want out of the confines of the 'church' to be who God is pointing me to be & do whatever He wants (without being tied down with church baggage & expectations). I'm confused. I don't understand God at all (big surprise). We keep trying to leave & the doors keep shutting in our face. I emailed an old supervisor at a previous job (the one we moved here from) to see if there were any openings. I haven't heard from him yet, but hope to sometime this week. I'm going to be looking into what it would take to get some computer certifications so that these businesses will (hopefully) look past my ministry background & take me halfway seriously. Until then we're continuing to pray that God will find us faithful & move when He sees fit.

Posted by Kristo on March 22, 2004 at 09:58 PM | Permalink