MyInwardJourney

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April 1, 2004 11:58 PM

[Future.Me]

Tim Bednar pointed out a great website in a recent post. It's called FutureMe.org & allows you to send yourself an email into the future. I dropped myself a note - will look forward to seeing where I'm at next April Fool's Day when I receive it. Too cool!

Posted by Kristo on April 1, 2004 at 11:58 PM
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April 2, 2004 8:47 PM

[New.Possibilities]

Well, things kind of hit sometimes out of left field, don't they?! I found out about a editor position which looks at least a little promising. It would be with a large, well-known, Christian publishing company. Because of this, it is actually the most qualified job that I've applied for up to this point. I've been writing for this company for a couple of years now, so I have good contact with many editors who are currently on staff. I emailed several of them & they said they would be glad to be references for me. In fact, one of them is a part of the hiring process since getting a promotion earlier this year.

The downside is that it would be a big move for us (a good 10-13 hours from where we live now & pretty much that far away from all of our immediate family). However, it would be such an uplifting position for me - something that actually excites me thinking about it! I'm not trying to get ahead of myself, as there is certainly no indication at this point that they would even consider me or that they haven't come close already to filling the position. It is good to feel excited again, though. The way I've been feeling lately I'm more apt to go ahead and just give my heart & hope into something like this, even if it does come crashing down sometime. Much better this than just simply 'existing' as I have been for awhile.

No more word on the 'just youth minister' talk. I need to talk with our pastor about it, but there is a (HUGE) part of me that is just hoping I find another job quickly so that I don't even have to begin down that road. We'll see.

Posted by Kristo on April 2, 2004 at 08:47 PM
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April 5, 2004 5:09 PM

[Application.Sent]

Well, stayed up late last Thursday night filling in the application for the editing position. It was 9 pages long! It took all night & then some to get through all of it. I had to update my resume a little as well. Finished faxing it early in the morning & emailed it to one of my previous editors who is part of the hiring process. Now it is back to the waiting game. I know he'll for sure be out of the office all this weekend & I probably won't hear anything until after Easter. It's just as well as this week will be busy enough getting ready for Sunday.

I have to say that I have mixed emotions about the holidays every year. Whenever Easter & Christmas roll around it is a great time to celebrate but a time of more work for me as well, since I work for a church. Things have slowed down over the years that I have been here & there's talk that we might even cancel our Sunday evening worship service next Easter so families can spend time celebrating together (wow, that's a novel concept). For this year, however, it will be business as usual.

I am looking forward to this year more than I have in recent past, though. It seems like my attitude has taken an upswing over the course of the last few weeks. I've been trying to look at my work here as if what I was currently involved with could be the last time I get to experience it. I took the youth on a Spring Break trip a couple of weeks ago & had a great time talking & hanging out with them. This Easter is looking to be the same kind of feeling - I'm considering that the real possibility is that this is my last Easter Sunday working on a church staff - at least as a music minister.

Posted by Kristo on April 5, 2004 at 05:09 PM
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April 13, 2004 9:38 AM

[Purpose.Driven.for.the.Soul]

I got back to the office today after working from the house for about 4 days (sick kids & wife) to find the regular pile of junk mail to sort through. I caught it out of the corner of my eye and uttered a silent, "Oh, God, please don't let it be what I think it is." It was - an advertisement for a special "The Purpose Driven Life Graduate" gift book. Now, I don't want to delve into the hot discussion that's already out there about the praises & evils of the "Purpose Driven" mass marketing empire - I just want it to stop already. I read the book - it was good ... but that was about a year and a half ago! And we're still churning out Purpose Driven (fill in the blank) ... graduate books, frames, Bible covers, decorations, calendars, & more.

Read the book, skip the accessories, and pray that Zondervan learns to deal with the fine line of Christian retail with more class. Otherwise we're in danger of seeing a good read turn into the next "Chicken Soup for the ..." nightmare.

Posted by Kristo on April 13, 2004 at 09:38 AM
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[Too.Many.Choices]

In the last two days I find myself with three real job possibilities. I got a call from a good friend of mine on Sunday night detailing an opportunity with a growing web design firm. I got an email from the guy I had interviewed with in March about a new job opening. And I have the editing position possibility as well. It's almost overwhelming to a point. I wish they would have hit in succession - you know: don't get this job, another possibility shows up, and so on. Now I could potentially be forced with having several out there, which is nice, but more complex of a decision to make.

I should know sometime next week where the possibility of the editing position lies. I'm planning on traveling at the end of this week to interview with the web design firm and I probably won't reply to the other job opening until after I get back.

Posted by Kristo on April 13, 2004 at 09:44 AM
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April 18, 2004 4:51 PM

[I.Have.a.Job!]

The search is finally over! I went and interviewed with the web design firm last Friday morning & they offered me the job that afternoon. We've accepted and are just trying to work out the details of move dates & salary negotiation. We should have these things firmed up within the next few days & start mapping out the transition as well. We're going to try and spend the evening tomorrow night with our pastor & his wife who have been good friends with us over the last six & a half years. I'm sure, at this point, that they'll have a good idea of what we want to talk with them about. Although we haven't advertised that we've been looking for a new job I have been very upfront over the course of the last year with our pastor on the direction that God is leading us. I don't think they'll be shocked, but they will be saddened, as we are.

I'm excited about the transition from 'church' life to 'professional' life, about the move & new beginnings, possiblities of owning our first home, being closer to some family & friends, and being involved with a new work. I walked around church this morning in a sort of surreal state. It felt kind of weird knowing that I would only be doing this for another month or so (we'll probably move around the end of May, after the kids get out of school). I'll be glad to get the details ironed out so that I can give myself into this decision. There is still a part of me that feels like holding back - as if somehow it was all going to be taken away from us before we're able to realize it. There are so many things that have factored into this that there is no doubt that this is God's provision for us at this moment in our lives. So many roads lining up and specifics of answered prayers.

We plan on being involved, at least initially, with a cell church in the city where we'll be moving. Just from the brief glimpses we've had in the past this is something that is very exciting for us. This will be a chance to 'detox' from church the way we've always considered it & allow God to expand our passion & vision for being church. I can't wait!

Posted by Kristo on April 18, 2004 at 04:51 PM
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April 19, 2004 10:32 PM

[Encouragement]

We went over to our pastor's house & spent some time talking with him & his wife tonight. Things went really well. They are really excited for us and the possibilities that lie ahead. We weren't sure how they would react and were really encouraged by their response. I think they knew the struggles that we were going through at this church for the past several months and that this conversation was going to happen sometime soon.

I called my friend this morning & formally accepted the job offer. It looks like we'll be sticking around here for about another month, allowing the kids to finish the school year & allowing us to see our graduating seniors graduate. I should be 'on the job' by the end of May. Wow! It has been an exhilirating few days! I've been kind of skiddish about allowing myself to be too happy, like I'm almost afraid that things are going to hit a brick wall, that they'll take back the offer, or I'll wake up and realize it was all just a dream. I feel better tonight than I have in months. I can't wait to see what's ahead in the coming days!

I reminded my wife (& myself) of something I had said months ago. I told her, "I can't imagine how anybody would pay us $X dollars (what it would take to live on in the city) doing something that at least on paper I don't have the experience for." I told her that I bet God was laughing everytime I said that! He knew all along the plans He had for me, "plans for hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11).

I just spent the last half hour or so reading through my journaling/blogging here. It was good to see the ups and downs of our spiritual journey & seeing how God was in it all along, bringing us to where we are tonight. We serve a good God!

Posted by Kristo on April 19, 2004 at 10:32 PM
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April 22, 2004 10:24 PM

[Looking.Ahead]

Well, the ups and downs are still sticking around. Seems like things won't begin to level off a little (although I'm fully aware that life never will even out) until we get to the new city and the new job. Had the best couple of days that I have had in over a year at the beginning of the week. Then I had to tell two friends of ours on Wednesday that we were leaving.

I'm dreading telling the church. That will be a difficult day. We're planning on letting everyone know that we're leaving on Sunday, May 2nd. Right now we're just trying to figure out the 'how' of doing so. When do we let the youth know? How do we let the youth workers know ahead of the youth? (Or do we even let them know until it's revealed to everyone else?)

All of this coming at the same time that I'm realizing how much more difficult the move is going to be on my wife. I'm the one who gets to go off to the office to a new job & new adventure. She is the one who gets to stay at the house & get things in order & raise our children during the days without the support base that we've developed here. We have friends & family in the city where we'll be moving, but I'm not sure how much of a support they can be during the work day. She's excited, though, almost as much as I am - and she's ready for the adventure. This will be a good growing time for our marriage, our family life, our spiritual lives & my professional life - all wrapped into one!

We're headed to the city tomorrow for the day (it's a three hour drive from here) to look for a rental home. We're hoping to get into something that we can lease for as little time as possible. Most rental house leases last 6 months at the earliest, so that may be what we have to settle for. We're only wanting to be in a rental for a few months so that we can get settled in, get a better grasp on our where our finances are going to be at, & decide where and in what kind of house we'd like to buy & move into. It will be a long day, but a good one - especially as we have friends here watching the kids for us so it will just be my wife & I. I'm looking forward to that.

Posted by Kristo on April 22, 2004 at 10:24 PM
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April 29, 2004 11:42 PM

[Getting.Set]

Well, things are set now for the big 'unveiling' on Sunday. This is the week that we announce to the church that we are leaving in a couple of weeks. This has already been an up-and-down week as it is and I'm sure that Sunday will be the same way. It will be emotional, especially talking with the youth. I feel like we're doing things the right way - at least in a way that causes the least amount of hurt feelings as possible (although I know there will still be some).

We finally found a house to move to, which is a huge relief. We've been waiting all week on some details about the job before we confirmed with the house that we wanted. We're planning one last trip to the city to get things squared away. We'll take some pictures of the new house to show some family/friends around here & begin to try and figure out what goes where.

I'm glad of one thing, at least - I'm going to enjoy not having to whisper anymore or worry about someone overhearing something. I feel like I've been living somewhat of a double-life for the past year. I'm not going to go and spill my guts in front of everyone in the church - it will just be nice to know that if I did it would be okay now. I don't have to worry about what people are going to think about what I think.

It will be a major adjustment to make and a totally different type of life than we've been living thus far. It's kind of scary, but it is more exciting than anything. We're ready for the move, at this point (mentally - not even close to physically being ready). Exciting days ahead!

Posted by Kristo on April 29, 2004 at 11:42 PM
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