MyInwardJourney

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March 3, 2004 12:02 AM

[Beside.Myself]

It has been an emotional last week. It started with the anxiety of not knowing if the job opportunity would go through, took a turn when the same seemed to dry up, and culminated with being generally depressed and having to sit through another torn evening of "The Passion."

As I mentioned last week, I've had mixed feelings about the movie - impacted by it on a personal level, but not sure how to handle it as a leader in our church. We have been encouraging youth parents to see this movie with their kids, rather than us taking a big group of youth to go see it. I still believe this is the best context to view it in - but we wanted to provide an opportunity for those whose parents couldn't or didn't want to go. That meant me driving one ninth grade guy to the theater & sitting through it again. I wasn't excited about this evening because (1) I would have rather spent the evening at home playing with my kids and relaxing with my wife, & (2) because I really didn't want to see the film again. I'm glad I saw it once - just didn't think I wanted to see it a second time.

It wasn't any easier this time. Same scenes brought me to tears and tense anguish as before. Had a good, short conversation with the ninth grader in the van on the way home followed by about 15 minutes of quiet reflection while listening to David Crowder & Charlie Hall. The relational part of the night was good - although one part did freak me out a bit. Something about going to the movies & looking around you & only seeing people from your church was too strange. I turned to a friend of mine & commented about this. I was tempted to add, "I don't remember seeing this many church people here when I saw the last Harry Potter movie" but decided against it.

On an added note: I have been walking around in a kind of depressed stupor for the last several days. It is getting harder and harder to go to the church & work each day as I long to be 'free' and experiencing the next step on the journey. Still waiting to here from either job opportunity - hopefully will hear something by the end of the week.

Posted by Kristo on March 3, 2004 at 12:02 AM | Permalink