MyInwardJourney

« [Beside.Myself] | Main | [God.In.A.Baby's.Eyes] »

March 5, 2004 11:10 PM

[One.Door.Closed]

Well, the door has finally closed on one job opportunity. There were brief traces of a door slightly cracked last week whenever I got a somewhat vague email from the office where I had interviewed previously. It sounded like it was closing then, but we thought there was an outside shot of something still coming about through it. No shot any longer. They've hired someone to fill the position. The only consolation was a sentence about a possibility arising in the near future to work their - but I think it was merely 'nice talk' to soften a rejection notice.

I'm a little disappointed ...
Disappointed because it was a great location that my wife & I both wanted to live.
Disappointed because it would have meant some kind of resolution to the ups & downs of our journey over the last year.
Disappointed because we are basically starting at square one again in this process.
& disappointed because they didn't feel I could 'cut it' - at least that they had some reservations about me.

The one thing I struggle with the most these days is the worry that I'm never going to be able to get a job and support my family doing anything else except official 'ministry' inside of a church. And, at this point, this is the one place that I have no desire to be. I could leave here & work for a different church - but I would feel like I was compromising so much of what God has opened my eyes to over the past 12 months. No, I will continue to keep my eyes fixed upon Him - waiting on His own timing & providence.

There is another opportunity on the horizon - one that would be in the computer field, which suits me much better than the closed one. I've applied and am waiting - will probably find out more in the next couple of weeks. Until then I keep moving forward, trying to be faithful to where I am at this moment and yet continuing to look forward and allow Him to point me in this new direction. Excitement mixed with anxiety ... but I guess that could be life in general.

Posted by Kristo on March 5, 2004 at 11:10 PM | Permalink